Friday, August 09, 2002

More Videogame Bitching

Just what you wanted, right?

I made the ill-fated mistake of jonesing for a new game tonight, so I decided to buy IL[star]2, a WWII Russian/German flight sim. I only bought it because someone on the WWIIOnline forums mentioned that there were drone planes in the practice mode that you could shoot at.

Let me just say that there are no drones in the practice mode to shoot at. In fact, the practice mode sucks balls. The whole game sucks balls. Big sweaty stinky salty chocolate ones (South Park references are go!). First off, there's no physics to speak of. None. Evidently WWIIOnline's flight model ruined me for life, because I'm used to planes having, you know, lift? Hey, not an issue in IL2 because your plane flies on rails!

I figured it wouldn't be all that bad since it had only a freaking gajillion and a half "game of the year!" labels on it. Shame on you, Gamespy. A pox on thee, Computer Gaming World. Was 2001 a really freaking slow flight sim year or something? How does a turd this huge win so many freaking awards?!?

"One of the best WW II flight sims ever produced." -- PC Gamer.

I'm sorry, there must have been a typo on the boxart. I think that should read:

"One of the only WW II flight sims ever produced." -- PC Gamer.

I should have known better when all of the testimonials claim it's the "best looking" combat sim ever. You know, because simulators should look good, but not actually simulate anything. Like accurate flight physics

I'm not even going to talk about when the game just decided that it was going to ignore the fact that I was using a joystick. The same joystick that was working with the game just 30 seconds ago. Even WWIIOnline isn't that buggy, and WWIIO is way buggy.

IL2 verdict: P.o.S.

Thank you and goodnight.

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