Keeping Score

Signs

I meant to blog this awhile back, but I don't think I did. Or if I did, and am reposting it, at least I have an addendum to it.

About a month ago, g4 TV (the Video Gaming Channel) was here doing some interviews with the Producers of our various sports titles. The first thing I saw when I walked in the door of the building was a sign that read:

Your presence in this building constitutes your permission to allow the G4 network to use your likeness, name, and/or voice in any G4 programs, commercials, or promotionals.

Now, I fail to see how showing up for work on time somehow makes for a legally binding contract with a company that I am in no way involved with. Somehow, as if by magic, they felt that all they had to do was put some words on a sheet of paper and hang it in the hall, and presto!: legally binding contract. I was this close to printing up a sign that read:

Your presence outside my office constitutes a willingness on your part to kiss my ass.

See? Does that sound legally binding to anyone?

Then, on the way into work this morning (thus the reason why I remembered to post this), I saw a rock truck with a hand-stenciled sign on the back that read:

Not responsible for property damage caused by following to close.

First off, nice improper use of the word "too." Second, I found it amusing that they liked to claim that negligence on their part in no way constitutes responsibility for any accidents that might happen due to said negligence. As if merely stating this makes it legally binding, and somehow overturns existing law to the contrary.

I've decided I'm going to go buy a gun, and put a sign on it so that I can't be arrested when I shoot the assholes who keep making these signs:

Not responsible for personal injury caused by standing too close to muzzle of gun.

"No, I didn't mean to shoot him. I was merely discharging my weapon and he was standing in the way. It can't possibly be my fault, officer. You see, he didn't read the sign."