Thursday, March 20, 2003

Dear Norton

Fuck you very much.

I just wanted to throw a very formal and very much in writing thank you for making the most asstastical piece of "virus scanning" software on the planet.

No, really.

If I were going to design software for people to use, I might start by making it so that it doesn't pop up seemingly at random intervals in the middle of their online games, thereby booting them out of said game, or application. That tends to make people angry. Then, I might also consider putting checkmarkable areas in said pop-up windows that say things like "don't ever fucking ask me this/interrupt my game again." Better still, I would even make those buttons do what they say! And after that (now try and keep up here Symantec, because I'm going way out on a limb here), I might even include an uninstall option!

That's right! You've completely violated every commonly accepted "user friendly" feature of a Windows-based application! Pop-up windows! Unmanageable options! No way to cleanly remove your software! You even went so far as to not include a way for me to access the "Add/Remove Programs" feature for Symantec products in the Control Panel! It's as if you enjoy making your clients furious with your products. Are you taking your marketing advice from pop-up ad companies? Because whatever it is you're doing now, it's done nothing but piss me off.

Oh, and that part where you have a daily pop-up ad window that I can't possibly remove or cancel reminding me that my subscription for your piece of shit software has run out? You might want to reconsider that, too, because it's things like that which make me wish I knew how to craft vicious drive-consuming viruses, so I could email them daily to your once great and now infuriating company.

And for the record? My wife and I figured out how to surgically remove your software (despite your very best efforts to thwart us), so you still lose.

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