Keeping Score

Paranoia

Tin Foil.

It's been used in movies (most recently in Signs) as a way to show that people have gone off the supernatural deep-end; that they have succumbed to fear and wrapped their head in tin foil in a desperate last-ditch effort to thwart off the "mind-rays" of the evil aliens.

Today, I received my I-Pass, which is one of those automatic toll collection devices that goes in your car and automatically deducts money from an account each time the tollbooth senses that this I-Pass device has passed by it. This is what it looked like when I removed it from the shipping envelope:

As you can see, the nut-jobs are onto something. Since my I-Pass came wrapped in tin-foil, I can deduce only one thing: that the State of Illinois has come to the conclusion that the aliens can in fact read our minds (and I-Passes) using their mind-rays, and the fine government of Illinois has decided to do something about it, starting with I-Passes.

I think it's safe to assume that our fine state's scientific labs have absolute, unwavering evidence to support that tin-foil stops all forms of alien mind-rays, and in an attempt to protect myself, I have taken desperate measures, and shielded my head with multiple I-Passes:

This is a fight for our future, and our very minds, people! Keep fighting the good fight, and wear your tin-foil!