Keeping Score

Yes, Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting

Jesus Christ, will the whiners never freaking stop? I've had it ::up to here:: with the pissers and moaners on who have to crap all over everything because it's not the kitchy-cool original.

The latest victim to this internet fan-boy craze is Shaolin Soccer. Evidently some people are pissed at the job Miramax did in dubbing and editing the title down. It's important to note that some of the people complaining haven't even seen the film yet, and are only arguing on principle alone.

I've seen the original more times than I'd care to count. I even own an "illegal" import copy with a farking craptacular subtitle job. Regardless of how bad the dub job is, it's umpteen times more preferable than trying to understand English written by someone who doesnt' really have a grasp on it. I would also like to know how editing out the boring, mundane, and non-plot driven sequences out of the movie and adding what I thought were some half-way decent voice acting (see trailers) somehow ruins a movie.

Seriously, there were sections in the original that would kill the movie-watching experience for Americans. I'm sure Asians who understand the culture love those sequences, but unless I'm mistaken, this version is going to be shown to Americans. There's a difference, folks. No one's destroying the original Hong Kong version. Maybe we're dumber than Asians. That's fair. But if sections of the original don't make sense, then fine, edit those sections out. They didn't drive the primary plot forward anyway, and in a movie that can best be described as pure camp, I don't think you can make serious complaints about this being an incomplete film or lack of character development scenes. Editing out scenes from Dumb and Dumber for an Asian release would not qualify as film travesty in anyone's opinion.

Last on the list is the complaints is the "Oh god, they're using some half-assed version of Kung Fu Fighting" in the score! While I admit that the song is trite and so over-done it's got a charred black center, I think it's important to note that this "half-assed" version that they claim terribly Americanizes the film first appeared in Dance Dance Revolution, you morons. The very version of the song you're complaining about was remixed and loved by Asians, asshats.

I guess it's only cool if Japanese people use it, then, eh?