Sunday, October 03, 2004

Bowler: 1 Mouse: 0

Y'know what? Live catch mouse traps are a total joke. I heard the trap door spring shut, and decided to let him stew about his capture in there for awhile before removing him (besides, Riley wasn't in bed yet, and last thing I need is a hysterical wife holding the baby [and before you think I'm being misogynistic, ask Liz who was sitting on the kitchen table when I went to go get the mouse]).

So after Liz put Riley to bed, I strolled over to the pantry, and heard him chewing. This is odd, you see, because the trap was loaded with peanut butter, and this isn't a crunchy household. Out come the tupperware bowls, the work gloves, and some shoes. I open the pantry door, and lo, the bastard has somehow climbed up to the top shelf again despite a re-arrangement of boxes. Evidently they can jump even higher than 8 inches. Who knew? However, this time, he had made a fatal error.

I can say one thing for the little guy: he's got taste. First time, he was chewing on some tasty egg noodles. This time, I caught him chewing on some Barilla pasta flat noodles, from inside the box. Capture was a cinch; I just slammed the open lid shut and took the entire box out for a walk down to the grade school. They have an enormous field for him to run around in, and it's a block or two away, so he's more likely to find refuge in someone else's pantry, and right now, I'm just fine with that. I set the box down and lifted up the back end, and he slid right out with the pasta, shot me a look, and scampered off across the parking lot into the field, away from the direction of our house.

After coming back home, I inspected the three live traps. It turns out he was inside the one in the pantry. He ate about half of the peanut butter, crapped all over the thing, and somehow got back out despite the fact that it's "engineered to hold four mice." It couldn't even hold one for ten minutes.

He used it like a cheap diner and left a crappy tip.

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