Sunday, December 12, 2004

Children's Toy, or Pr0n Star?

So the wife and I were looking at Fisher Price's catalog for things to buy lil' Riley for Crimmas, and we came across the Rescue Heroes page. No, wait, don't click on it yet.

They've got these "teams" of Rescue Heroes, an action figure and their dog and/or robot, and they have the most rediculous names. It was Liz first who discovered that, indeed, they sounded more like the back of the box marketing details for a p0rno scene than they did a children's toy. So, without further ado, I ask you:

Pornstar Scene or Action Figure Playset?

Jack Hammer & Rivet
Gil Gripper & Goggles
CD Moon & Lift-off
Rocky Canyon & Tectonic
Ariel Flyer & E-Ject
Billy Blazes & Ember
I'll give you a hint: THEY'RE ALL ACTION FIGURE PLAYSETS. I know, and you know what? It gets worse. here's the list of the single figures:
Seymour Wilde
Kenny Ride
Red Wood
Sam Sparks
Back Hoe
Back Draft
Wendy Waters
Captain Cuffs
Al Pine
Ben Choppin
Uh, Fisher Price? The p0rn industry called. They want their lame naming convention back. No, seriously...Back Hoe??

How the hell did you miss "Willy Stop"?
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