Keeping Score

Rotten

My iPod died on Monday, when I tried to plug it in to my PC and upload one song onto it that I wanted to listen to on the way to work that morning.

It was fine when I plugged it in. Everything was going fine for a few seconds and then poof, nothing. Grey screen. No "do not disconnect" message, no charging battery icon, no Mac logo, no nothing.

So tonight on the way home I finally tried calling the Apple Store in Oak Brook Mall. The direct number I was given put me into the phone maze, and I pressed "2" for tech support, which evidently put me in a 15 minute line for Apple's main 1-800 Apple Care program.

I followed the prompts. Press 2 for tech support. None of the options allowed fit my problem, so I just held (presumably for an operator). I got the "voice recognition bitch" as I like to call her, and said "iPod" when she asked what device I was calling about. Then she asked if it primarily interfaces with a Mac or a "Windows Computer." I said "windows computer" and she said "okay, here you go!" in an overly cheery synthesized automated response.

Fast forward 15 minutes to "Billy" finally picking up. First, I have to give my email. They find my records through iTunes. Wonderful. Then he asks for the serial number. I have to roll off the iCondom first, while driving, and then try and read the 4 point font serial number on the back. I had to pull over to read it to him, all the while he's telling me if I don't have an Apple Care account this phone call's going to cost me $47. "Look, it won't turn on. All I want to know is if I need to take it into the Apple Store or not and can they help me there?" Suddenly, after reading the serial number to him for the FOURTH time, something clicks and he asks:

"Is there an HP logo on the back of your iPod?" Yes, I tell him, there is. "Oh, well, then you're going to have to call HP for support, this is Apple Support. Would you like the number?"

That's right, folks. Apple no longer services their own fucking products. Save yourselves the trouble and just buy the Rio.

Lesson learned, Apple. Lesson learned.